The Internet Was Meant For Yaoi
by Shounen-Ai
Summary: A chatroom plus our favorite ninjas. Enough said. SasuNaru /Crack fic/ Discontinued
1. Relationship By A Big Mouth

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto TT TT

* * *

The Internet Was Meant For Yaoi

By Shounen-ai

Warning(s): SasuNaru not NaruSasu

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_OrangeRamenCup has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup: Hello?? Hello??

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged in_

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

OrangeRamenCup: SASUKE!! -puppy eyes-

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Oh no..- -;;

OrangeRamenCup: Hi :D

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Hm..

OrangeRamenCup: D: You say 'Hm' online too!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: yeah, so?

OrangeRamenCup: Why don't you say: Naruto! My beloved seme :DDDD

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged out_

OrangeRamenCup: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! TT TT

_**2:35 PM since last message**_

_**2:36 PM since last message**_

_**2:37 PM since last message**_

_**2:38 PM since last message**_

_**2:39 PM since last message**_

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup: YAY! MY UKE HAS RETURNED :D

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...Dobe...tomorrow..training grounds...your dead -death glare-

OrangeRamenCup: D: You would kill your seme!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: One! You are NOT my SEME. Two! I am NEVER UKE. Three! If we WERE in a relationship, I would be your SEME and you would be the one getting his butt pounded into the bed

OrangeRamenCup:...

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Hm...

OrangeRamenCup:...I AM NOT UKE!! -pouts-

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: -rolls eyes-

OrangeRamenCup: AND I'LL PROVE IT DATTEBAYO!! DX

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...??

_OrangeRamenCup has logged out_

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...??

_YuriYaoiFanboy has logged in_

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

YuriYaoiFanboy: Hello to you to Sasuke :)

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Kakashi...didn't Iruka-sensei tell you to change your username

YuriYaoiFanboy: He did, but I don't want too

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: He will kill you if Naruto ever sees that name and asks him what it means

YuriYaoiFanBoy:...Hmmmm...that is true...

_YuriYaoiFanboy has logged out_

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

_OrangeRamenCup has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup: Sasuke-teme, come over to my house NOW!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Why dobe?

OrangeRamenBowl: BECAUSE!!

_OrangeRamenBowl has logged out_

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged out_

--Next Day--

_IchaIchaFanboy has logged in_

_SakuraUchiha has logged in_

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged in_

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

SakuraUchiha: Hi Sasuke-kun!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Sakura...change your name...NOW

SakuraUchiha: T.T

_SakuraUchiha has logged in as SakuraPetals_

BlueFlamesofaUchia: better...

SakuraPetals: T.T

_SasukeUchiha'sProperty has logged in_

SasukeUchiha'sProperty: TEME! I HATE YOU AND YOUR FAST REFLEXES!!...HEY! YOU CHANGED MY USERNAME!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Hm. Your fault for trying to make me the uke. I told you already I will never be uke and I would be seme in a relationship with you...and that name fits you perfectly

SasukeUchiha'sProperty: -pouting-

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: -smirks-

SakuraPetal: ajdj;o;j;osj;do;jdlajsd;asjd;lasdkad'padakd'jas;kdjado;djpjdad'pxxmwlsmwmsmwql;s;qmx;mw;'dwq'd'kjdqwwhs;skw;skw;qojpswqssjss;kwpjdp

IchaIchaFanboy: hmmm...looks like Sakura fainted

SasukeUchiha'sProperty: OH NO! SAKURA-CHAN! D:

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Naruto, I'm horny, I'm coming over

SasukeUchiha'sProperty: NOOOO!! MY BUTT HURTS ALREADY AND IS STILL HEALING! LEAVE ME ALONE!! TT.TT

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: I'll be there in five minutes

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged out_

SasukeUchiha'sProperty: NOOOOOOOO!! I BETTER GO LOCKED THE WINDOWS AND BLOCK THE DOOR! BYE SENSEI!

_SasukeUchiha'sProperty has logged out_

IchaIchaFanboy: -sighs- Guess I'll go mess with Iruka

_IchaIchaFanboy has logged out_

SakuraPetals: Huh? EVERYONE LEFT?! SASUKE-KUN! SASUKE-KUN!

_SakuraPetals has logged out_

--Naruto's Apartment

"TEME! GET OFF!"

"Stop moving dobe"

"NO! GET...OFF!!"

Zip

"GYAH! PERVERT! NO! STOP!!"

Ziiiiiiiiiiiiippppppp

"NOOOOOOOOO! GET AWAY FROM MY PANTS! TTTEEEMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

**Blah**

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Shounen-ai's Note: Blah. :)


	2. Nine Inches

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto TT TT

* * *

The Internet was Meant for Yaoi

By Shounen-Ai

Warning(s): **Sasu**Naru not **Naru**Sasu

* * *

_OrangeRamenCup has logged in_

_SakuraPetals has logged in_

_BlondeBabe has logged in_

BlondeBabe: Naru-chan!

OrangeRamenCup: Ino-chan?

BlondeBabe: Where is your lover?! I need to speak with him! He keeps running away ever time I approach him!

OrangeRamneCup: Are you still a Sasuke fan girl?

BlondeBabe: Who me? Of course not!

SakuraPetals: LIAR! YOU JUST BOUGHT SOME SASUKE-KUN PICTURES AT THE SASUKE-KUN FAN CLUB CONVENTION!!

BlondeBabe: Duh! I use those pictures so I can learn how to draw him! I'M MAKING A SASUNARU DOUJINSHI!

SakuraPetals:...

BlondeBabe: And because he's hot. But that's not the point! I NEED TO TALK TO HIM!!

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged on_

BlondeBabe: There you are!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Oh no...

BlondeBabe: Sasuke-kun! Answer my question!

BlueFlameofaUchiha: No.

BlondBabe: But I need to know!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: No.

OranegRamenCup: What are you guys talking about?

BlondeBabe: Please!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: No.

BlondeBabe: Please!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: No.

SakuraPetals: Knowing Ino. it's something stupid Naruto.

BlondeBabe: Please!! Please!! Please!! -puppy eyes-

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: No.

OrangeRamenCup: Really Sakura-chan?

SakuraPetals: Yep.

BlondeBabe: DON'T MAKE ME RAPE NARU-CHAN!...You know I wouldn't mind. -hearts&giggles-

OrangeRamenCup: EH!?

BlondeBabe: He's so cute and I just want to eat him.

OrangeRamenCup: EEHHH!?

BlondeBabe: And even though he is a guy, I would be seme.

OrangeRamenCup: WHAT?!

BlondeBabe: So, what do you say Sasuke-kun? The answer or Naru-chan?

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Go ahead. Take him.

OrangeRamenCup: SASUKE-TEME!! I'LL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...Why did you change your user name back to that stupid name?

OrangeRamenCup: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT YOU JERK! I PROMISE YOU! I WILL KILL YOU AND THEN HAUNT YOU DURING YOUR DEATH!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Make sure to wear that french maid outfit if you do.

OrangeRamenCup: I AM NOT WEARING THAT STUPID OUTFIT!!

BlondeBabe: I'll tell Sakura and your entire fan club about your secret life.

SakuraPetals: Secret life?

BlondeBabe: Yep! At this local bar, he is a

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: NINE INCHES!

BlondeBabe: Woah! Thank you!

_BlondeBabe has logged out_

OrangeRamenCup: Nine inches? Nine inches what?

SakuraPetals:...xnaksxlxlnxicedehwodjhdejdhedqdjhdghdmncp'ewdpdjqsll'ld'kfjfg;wdhwebcv'nx'bxnd'jk'klkh'eg';jfj'hwdwgswjhfjikj;o'j'kdgydffenrrf;fl'ep'dkjdp

OrangeRamenCup: Eh? SAKURA-CHAN!! OH NO! SHE FAINTED AGAIN!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Hmph.

OrangeRamenCup: NINE INCHES WHAT TEME!? TELL ME WHAT INO AND YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...I'll show you. I'll be over in two minutes.

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged out_

OrangeRamenCup:...??

_OrangeRamenCup has logged out_

-Hours Later-

Naruto whimpered, laying down.

"Y-you pervert!"

"Hmph, you said you wanted me to show you how useful it is"

"No! I said I wanted to know what you guys were talking about!"

"Second round?"

"NO!"

Sasuke pounced his uke, ignoring his protest.

-Next Day-

_Sasuke'sPet has logged in_

_BluesFlamesofaUchiha has logged in_

_SakuraPetals has logged in_

SakuraPetals:... o.o;

Sasuke'sPet: SASUKE-TEME! STOP CHANGING MY USERNAME!

BlueFlamesofanUchiha: But it states the truth.

Sasuke'sPet: Grrrr!! TEME!! I HATE YOU!!

_Sasuke'sPet has logged in as KissMyButtUchiha_

KissMyButtUchiha: I like this name better! :P

BlueFlamesofAUchiha: What? -smirks- Oh, your ready for me already? I didn't know you could heal so quickly. I'll be over soon. :)

KissMyButtUchiha: HUH?! NO!! STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU HORNY PERVERTED BASTARD!! TT.TT

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged out_

KissMyButtUchiha: AAHHHH!! HE'S AFTER ME!!

_KissMyButtUchiha has logged out_

SakuraPetals: Sasuke-kun. TT.TT

_SakuraPetals has logged out_

_**TBC...?**_

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Shounen-Ai's Note: Review please?


	3. Ordinary Day

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

The Internet Was Meant For Yaoi

By: Shounen-Ai

Warning(s): This is **Sasu**Naru not **Naru**Sasu

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_OrangeRamenCup has logged in_

_LazyDay has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup: Hi Shikamaru!

LazyDay: Ah. Naruto is only on? What a drag...

OrangeRamenCup: Hey!!

_PaleDestiny had logged in_

PaleDestiny: Hello Naruto-kun. Shikamaru-kun.

OrangeRamenCup: Neji! I haven't talked to you in awhile!

PaleDestiny: And you still haven't. We are simply typing to each other on a chat room.

OrangeRamenCup:...Huh? Isn't that the same as talking?

PaleDestiny: No. Neither of us are using our vocal language.

OrangeRamenCup:...

LazyDay: What he is trying to say is that since your not using your mouth, you guys aren't talking. Only writing...

OrangeRamenCup: OOOOooohhh!! Why didn't you just say that in the first place Neji!?

PaleDestiny: -sighs-

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup: AAAHHH!! THE PERVERT CAME!!

_OrangeRamenCup has logged out_

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...Naruto.

LazyDay: What did you do this time Uchiha?

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Nothing of your concern.

PaleDestiny: Someone is knocking at my door. I'll be right back.

LazyDay: Most likely Naruto.

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

**2:35 PM since last message**

**2:36 PM since last message**

PaleDestiny: Naruto is here...he's using Hinata's computer.

_Mrs. Hinata U has logged in_

Mrs. Hinata U: Hmmmm...I wonder what the U stands for...

LazyDay: Naruto?

Mrs. Hinata U: What?

LazyDay: Your not serious are you?

Mrs. Hinata U:...uhhh...yes?

LazyDay:...Uchiha. You have bad taste in picking out partners. Troublesome.

Mrs. Hinata U: HEY!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Hmph. Naruto. Why are you at Neji's house?

Mrs. Hinata U: Hey Hinata-chan is here! And I'm here because Neji and Hinata-chan can protect me from you! They are both stronger than you!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...Naruto. Come to my place. NOW.

Mrs. Hinata U: NO!...AAHHH! HINATA-CHAN FAINTED!!

PaleDestiny: That is because your in her room and on her computer and I heard you ask her what the 'U' stood for.

Mrs. Hinata U: HINATA-CHAN WON'T WAKE UP!! I KILLED HER!! TToTT

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Come NOW dobe.

Mrs. Hinata U: NO!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: You get to be seme tonight.

Mrs. Hinata U: I'll be there shortly!!

_Mrs. Hinata U has logged out_

LazyDay: Uchiha. Are you really going to let him?

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: -snorts- No. That's the advantages of having a idiot for a lover.

LazyDay:...troublesome.

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Try it out one day Nara. When your not to lazy to date. Well, Naruto is here.

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged out_

PaleDestiny:...I have to go. Hinata still will not wake up.

_PaleDestiny has logged out_

LazyDay: What a drag.

_YOUTHFUL-LEE-KUN has logged in_

LazyDay: Oh no.

YOUTHFUL-LEE-KUN: AH! SHIKAMARU-KUN!! HELLO MY NON-YOUTHFUL FRIEND!

LazyDay:...

YOUTHFUL-LEE-KUN: HAVE YOU SEEN SAKURA-SAN?!

LazyDay:...no.

YOUTFUL-LEE-KUN: AWWW. TT.TT SUCH A NON-YOUTHFUL THING TO READ...

LazyDay:...

YOUTHFUL-LEE-KUN: WELL. I SHALL BE OFF! SAKURA-SAN! WHERE CAN YOU BE MY LOVE!!

_YOUTHFUL-LEE-KUN has logged out_

LazyDay: ...troublesome.

_LazyDay has logged out_

_--_

"SAKURA-SAN! WHERE ARE YOU?!" The green-clothed boy shouted, running around the village for the pink haired girl. Sakura panted, peaking from her hiding spot, a bulletin board.

"THERE YOU ARE!!" Lee exclaimed, landing next to her.

"AAHHH! STAY AWAY FROM ME LEE!!" she retorted, quickly rushing off in a random direction. Hoping to lose the boy along the way and finally find her way to Sasuke's front door.

"SAKURA-SAN! COME BACK!!"

"STAY AWAY!!"

--

"Hinata-san. Please snap out of it." Neji requested, shaking the fragile girl once more. Hinata continued to stutter as she stared at the empty computer chair that was used only minutes ago by her crush.

"Na-Na-Na-Naruto...k-kun...was...h-here? H-He was...here...he...was.." The poor girl fainted once more.

Neji sighed.

"Oh joy."

--

Naruto glared at the brunette in front of him.

"You said I could be seme, you teme!!"

"So? I lied."

"Jerk! You deserve no sex for a month!"

"Hmph. Like that's gonna ever happen."

"You horny bastard!"

"Your fault."

"How it is MY fault?!"

"Because of the way you look. Your like a little innocent fox who is just waiting for the horny wolf to jump him and fu-."

"Okay okay! I get it your pervert!"

"So, what will today's theme be? Lord&Maid or Doctor&Nurse?"

"NEITHER!"

"Hmmm...your right. Let's try out the new theme. Teacher&Schoolgirl theme. I just got the outfits at the store."

"W-WHAT?! I'M NOT DRESSING UP LIKE A GIRL!!"

Sasuke ignored him as he turned his back to the tied up boy and pulled off a certain package from the shelve of his closet.

--

Shikamaru yawned as he lied under his favorite tree, staring at the clouds.

"An uneventful day. Nothing out of the ordinary...perfect."

**TBC...?**

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Shounen Ai's Note: Review please.


	4. Aladdin, Jim, and Sakura

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto TT TT

* * *

The Internet was Meant for Yaoi

By Shounen-Ai

Warning(s): **Sasu**Naru not **Naru**Sasu

* * *

_AladdinIsHot has logged in_

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged in_

AladdinIsHot: Hi teme!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

AladdinIsHot:...What's wrong? Oh! You like my new user name!? I got it off the movie Aladdin! He's hot. Ha! He's hotter than you teme!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...I'm burning that movie...

AladdinIsHot: Don't be a baby! Just because I think he's hot doesn't mean you have to get mad about it! I wouldn't mind being uke to him though...

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...Yep. I'm burning that movie.

AladdinIsHot: Leave the movie alone teme!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: No. I hate that idiotic boy.

AladdinIsHot: He's better than you!!

BluesFlamesofaUchiha: He's a cartoon.

AladdinIsHot: SO!! HE'S STILL HOT!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged out_

AladdinIsHot: Big baby...

_OoohPointy! has logged on_

AladdinIsHot: Hi Tenten-chan!

OoohPointy!: Hi Naruto! Well, what did your lover think of the new name?

AladdinIsHot: He got mad and left. Oh and thanks for showing me that movie! Aladdin really is hot!!

OoohPointy!: Lol. Hey! Did you see Treasure Planet!? Jim is sexy! Even my friend thinks so, and it's hard for her to actually like someone!!

AladdinIsHot: Really? Do you have the movie!? I wanna seeeee!!

OoohPointy!: I have it! Come on over!

_OoohPointy! has logged out_

_AladdinIsHot has logged out_

-Hours Later-

_SakuraPetals has logged on_

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged on_

SakuraPetals: Sasuke-kun!! Hello!!

BleuFlamesofaUchiha:...Sakura...hi...

SakuraPetals: I was wondering if you would like to have a picnic together! As friends! Only friends!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...No...last time I went somewhere with you as 'only friends'. You jumped me and tried to kiss me. -.-

SakuraPetals: It was a friendly kiss Sasuke-kun!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...A friendly kiss doesn't have tongue included...

SakuraPetals:...I STILL LOVE YOU SASUKE-KUN!!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Hmph.

_ILoveYouJim has logged in_

ILoveYouJim: I love Jim...Hi Sakura-chan!! Hi teme...

BlueFlamesofaUchiha: Ugh...what movie NOW?

ILoveYouJim: Treasure Planet!! Jim!..He...he...HE'S SEXY!! I love him!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...That's it...

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged out_

ILoveYouJim:...uh oh...I'm dead...NOOO!! I WON'T BE ABLE TO WALK FOR A WEEK AGAIN!!

SakuraPetals: Naruto! Why doesn't Sasuke-kun want me!?

ILoveYouJim:...uhhh...because your...a girl? Oh crap! He broke my door again!! I have to go now Sakura-chan! I have to hide!!

_ILoveYouJim has logged out_

SakuraPetals:...Because I'm a girl?...I can fix that...SEX CHANGE! HERE I COME!!

_SakuraPetals has logged out_

-Hokage's Office-

Tsunade spit out her tea and turned to Sakura in pure horror.

"W-What?! You want a sex change?!" She questioned in disbelief. The pink-haired nodded. "If I'm a male, then Sasuke-kun will finally noticed me! Then he'll notice how wonderful and beautiful I am! Please Tsuande-sama!"

Tsunade sighed.

"Sakura. You know once you have to surgery...you can never turn back into a woman again."

"I don't care! I want Sasuke-kun!!"

Tsunade rubbed her temples, looking over to her pupil.

'Annoying...very annoying.'

**_TBC...?

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_**

Shounen-Ai's Note: Will Sakura go along with the sex change? Will Naruto find a good hiding spot? Will Sasuke continue to be horny? Find out next chapter!! Review please and yes I know this chapter sucked. XD And Jim is hot!


	5. Gay or Straight?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto TT TT

* * *

The Internet was Meant for Yaoi

By Shounen-Ai

Warning(s): **Sasu**Naru not **Naru**Sasu

* * *

_OrangeRamenCup has logged in_

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup: Teme! Change your name! It's so old!

BlueFlamesofaUchiha:...Hmph..

_BlueFlamesofaUchiha has logged in as Sasuke_

OrangeRamenCup: THAT'S NOT ANY BETTER! THAT'S WORSE!!

Sasuke: Whatever.

OrangeRamenCup: -Glares-

Sasuke:...Someone is knocking at my door...

OrangeRamenCup: Eh? But no one but me goes over there!

Sasuke:...and Sakura...I'll be right back.

_Sasuke has logged out_

OrangeRamenCup: Now I am alone...

-Uchiha Estate-

Sasuke blinked...and blinked...and blinked...Until finally.

"S-Sakura?"

Sakura grinned. "Hello, Sasuke-kun." she..I mean...he greeted. Sasuke stared in absolute horror at the male before him.

_Damn. I think I'm gonna turn straight now._

Sasuke shook his head.

"Sakura. What the hell did you do to yourself?!" Sakura pouted at the comment. "You don't like me? I had a sex change...for you Sasuke-kun." His voice lowered, as he wrapped his arms around the brunette. Sasuke shivered in disgust, but Sakura took it as pleasure. Sakura smirked, leaning closer to kiss Sasuke. Sasuke's eyes widened in shock before he quickly pushed the pink haired male away and slammed his door shut. Sakura chuckled.

"Sasuke-kun is so shy now." he stood up and left the Estate."I'll try to lure him out tomorrow!" Sakura happily exclaimed.

-Chat room-

_Sasuke has logged on_

BlondeBabe: Hi Sasuke-kun! Guess what! My SasuNaru doujinshi sold off the charts! I'm rich!!

Sasuke:...Ino...

BlondeBabe: Yes?

Sasuke:...Have you see Sakura today?

BlondeBabe: No. Why do you ask?

Sasuke:...I'll tell you this. When you look for her today...you'll have to look harder than usual.

BlondeBabe: Huh? Oh the bell rang! See yah later!!

_BlondeBabe has logged out_

Sasuke:...

OrangeRamenCup: Okay! I'm back Ino-chan!...Aww. She left...Hey teme!!

Sasuke:...Naruto...

OrangeramenCup: Yeah?

Sasuke:...In five seconds, I'm going to go into shock. So please come and take my body to the nearest Therapist and/or Mental House...

OrangeRamenCup: WHAT?! WHAT'S WRONG SASUKE!! DID NINJAS PLACE YOU UNDER A JUSTU!! I'LL BE THERE SOON!!

_OrangeRamenCup has logged out_

-Yamanaka Resident-

Ino choked on her pocky, staring at her former female friend. "Sakura?! W-What did you do?!" Sakura walked into the bedroom, arms crossed. "I had a sex change. Sasuke-kun only likes males, right? So, If I'm a male, then he's bond to like me!"

Ino sighed, placing her hands on her hips.

"Two problems."

"And what are they?"

"One. I'm not allowed to have boys in my room. Two. Sasuke-kun is already in love and dating Naru-chan!"

"So! he'll dump Naruto-baka and he will date and love me!"

"Sakura! Stop acting...wait. You have to change you name if your gonna be a boy from now on." Ino crossed her arms, tilting her head. Sakura scrunched her nose, pouting. "But my name is to beautiful to be change!" Ino rolled her eyes, looking around the room.

"Toshi?"

"Sakura."

"Ryu?"

"Sakura."

"Yori?"

"Sakura."

"Daisuke?"

"Sakura! Only Sakura! I'm not changing my name!" Sakura exclaimed. Ino snapped her fingers. "I got it! Your name shall be Yukito!" Sakura growled. "No! Sakura! I'm ignoring you now!" The male turned away from the female. Ino rolled her eyes. "Whatever. We'll I hope your mom can understand your new...uhh...look. Anyway. Get out before I'm grounded." Sakura huffed, exiting the room and house.

Ino sighed.

"Poor Naru-chan. I bet Sasuke-kun's turned straight now."

-Hours Later-

Naruto cried and cried and cried...and cried. Kakashi hummed as he read through his favorite orange book. Naruto noticed and glared. "How can you read when Sasuke said he's becoming straight!? He's gonna dump me! I'll be alone again!!" Naruto burst into tears again. Kakashi sighed, closing his book.

"No he won't. I have an idea...but...the affects might..." Kakashi stopped as Naruto looked at him oddly. "I don't care about affects! As long as Sasuke doesn't turn straight! And when can we take him off House Arrest?!" Naruto looked over to the locked door of the Uchiha Estate. Kakashi thought for a moment. "Well, he has gone insane and he keeps muttering pink haired males and such...but after this little treatment. He'll be back to nomarl." Kakashi held up at small bag, dangling it in front of Naruto's face.

"Where did that come from?"

"I've had it for awhile now."

"...You planned this!? You knew I would agree!"

"Yep. Now try on the outfit."

Naruto looked into the bag cautiously.

"AAH!! WHAT IS THIS?!"

"Just put it on."

"NO!"

"But don't you-"

"NO!"

"-wanna help Sasuke?"

"...yes..."

"Then put it on."

"..." Naruto turned, walked behind a tree, and changed into the outfit. Kakashi happily waited, reading his book once again. As he read, he didn't notice Naruto come from behind the tree, glaring daggers at Kakashi. "Sensei! I hate you!" Kakashi looked over to his adorable student. "Aww. You look so cute. I might even kidnap you and keep you all to myself." Naruto crossed his arms and pouted. "Shut up! I'm doing this for Sasuke-teme!"

Kakashi chuckled, unlocking the door.

"Okay Naruto. Go ahead." Naruto gulped, opening the door slowly and stepping inside. The silver haired sensei closed the door and walked away from the building. After a few minutes, he reached the gates of the Estate. His smile grew as he heard the screams of his student.

**_"STAY AWAY FROM ME TEME!!"_**

_**"Come here my little pet."**_

_**"Noooo!! Ahhhhh!!"**_

Kakashi hummed as he headed to his apartment.

_**TBC...?**_

* * *

Shounen-Ai's Note: Poor Naruto! Attacked by a horny Uchiha. Review please?

Naruto's outfit: I couldn't get the link to the picture for some odd reason. Just go to photobucket . com. Type in 'Chick Naruto' and then go all the way down to the bottom. Their should be a picture of Naruto in a chick-like jacket.


	6. Author Lady!

The Internet Was Meant For Yaoi

By Shounen-Ai

* * *

_OrangeRamenCup has logged in._

OrangeRamenCup:................WHERE IS EVERYONE!?

**_2:35 since last meassge_**

**_2:36 since last mesage_**

**_2:37 since last message_**

**_2:38 since last message_**

**_2:39 since last message_**

OrangeRamenCup. ;_; Uwah....

_Sasuke has logged in._

OrangeRamenCup: Sasuke.....wow, how wonderful. T_T

Sasuke: Naruto? I thought I chained you to my bed...

OrangeRamenCup: YOU DID YOU ASSHOLE! But I was able to escape twelve minutes ago.

Sasuke: No wonder I didnt hear you screaming for me to feed you ramen.

OrangeRamenCup: YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE AND I HOPE YOU LOSE ALL YOUR HAIR!

Sasuke: Whatever. I'll still fuck you senselessly.

OrangeRamenCup: Bastard! I wanna be seme!!

Sasuke: In your dreams. And you should know by now that the our fandom is SasuNaru. Not NARUsasu.

OrangeRamenCup: Actually....their is a NaruSasu Fandom and it's starting to rank up to 1st place!!

Sasuke:............you lie...

OrangeRamenCup: CHECK IT OUT YOURSELF BASTARD!

Sasuke:............

_Sasuke has gone idle._

OrangeRamenCup: n_n 3....2......

Sasuke: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!? I AM NOT THE UKE OF THIS OR ANY RELATIONSHIP!

_Author has logged in._

OrangeRamenCup: Author lady!!

Author: Sasuke Uchiha. How dare you accuse yourself of not being a uke! Just because I made you seme for now, doesn't mean I can't make you have an 'accident' and transform you into a uke!!

Sasuke: I'LL SUE YOU!!

Author: Ha! Go ahead! I'll just pair you off to your brother for revenge!

Sasuke:...............................................I hate you.

OrangeRamenCup:......could you give us an example of NaruSasu!!?

Sasuke:.............

Author: I would sweetie, but this is a SasuNaru fic at the moment. I don't want my reviewers getting mad that I changed the couple so suddenly. Maybe in the sequel!

Sasuke: There is no sequel...

Author: SHUT UP!

Sasuke: Make me.

Author: And to think I've been nice to you by making you the seme instead of the uke.

_LazyDay has logged in._

Author: SHIKAMARU. -Hearts-

LazyDay:.............................troublesome fangirls.

Author: ;_; I'm not a fangirl...

Sasuke: Liar.

Author: FUCK YOU!!

Sasuke: In your dreams.

Author: How do you know about my dreams?!

Sasuke:...............

OrangeRamenCup:...............

LazyDay:..........

Author:....oops......I was.....joking?

OrangeRamenCup: YOU TURNED HER INTO A FANGIRL!!!

Author: I was joking!! ;_;

LazyDay: Lie.

Author: Shikamaru. -Heartbreak- He hates me now. T_T

Sasuke: To think the author was this perverted...

Author: I can't control my dreams. ;_; AND BLAME PUBERTY AND LACK OF CUTE BOYS IN MY LIFE!

Sasuke:..............

Author: I'll shut up now....

Sasuke: Good. Now excuse me. I need to get rid of all this stress. Naruto, I'm coming over.

OrangeRamenCup: YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME!!!

_OrangeRamenCup has logged out._

_Sasuke has logged out._

Author: I WANNA SEE THE SMUT!!!!

_Author has logged out._

LazyDay:....idiots.

-

Naruto giggled silently as he watched his lover calmly look around his bedroom area. He was so smart to transform into a ceiling fan. Sasuke would never find him! Naruto was knocked out his thoughts when his bedroom door was thrown open. A girl stood at the entrance with a camera in hand. "...Awww. No love-making." she sighed, turning off the video camera. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "You idiot. You're the author. You're suppose to be the one writing how I found the blond and how I fucked him senselessly!" The author glared. "I deserve respect Uchiha!" Sasuke snorted. "Like I'd give you any. You crazy perverted rapist."

"I'm not a rapist!!"

"You dream about us......we....I....ugh, I'm gonna be sick." Sasuke placed a hand over his mouth. "Fuck you asshole!" The author huffed. "Anyway! Those are more like nightmares than dreams!!" Sasuke rolled his eyes at the lie, noticing how much the girl was blushing. "Just don't touch me." he moved as far as he could away from the girl. She growled at this, becoming pissed off that he was treating her like a disease instead of a queen! She was the author who gave him the satisfaction of being in a relationship with Naruto and having all the time to fuck him as much as he wanted! She wanted respect damnit!

"Like I would! This is SasuNaru not SasuAuthor!" With that, she stomped out the room.

Sasuke sighed and looked around the room again. He blinked, noticing a cool breeze. The window was closed and no air was coming out the door. The Uchiha looked above, seeing the ceiling fan. 'Since when did the idiot have a ceiling fa-.......' Sasuke growled, jumping up and slamming is fist on one of the blades. "OUCH!" Naruto's justu wore off and he fell safely on his bed, but hit his head on the hard bedpost. Naruto pouted, rubbing his bruised head. "That was mean you bastard!" he was greeted with the red eyes of sharingan. "You see how stressed I am!? And yet you try and hide from me! Oh my dear Naru-chan. I will have your ass for the next few days since you thought it was nice to make me wait longer." Naruto gulped as a evilly smirk appeared on the flawless face of the Uchiha and magically, a large bottle of lube appeared in his hand. "I guess I was wrong about the author. She is nice after all."

"Uwah! Author lady! Take the lube back! Send him to Orochimaru or something!!!" Sadly, the author ignored the adorable boy and he was pounced by his lover.

-

The Author sighed, placing her pencil down. "I'm sorry Naruto. But those scenes are what my fans come to see. If I didn't care about the fans. I'd make him jump off a fucking cliff into a ocean filled with crazed fangirls and-!" Her head shoot up, sensing a certain person nearby. Her eyes snapped onto the person walking by.

"SHIKAMARU!!"

Shikamaru groaned and began his jog, trying to outrun his fangirl/author.

"This is troublesome."

"SHIKAMARU! COME BACK! I JUST WANT TO HUG YOU!"

"Very troublesome."

* * *

Shounen-Ai's Note: Hoped it was funny enough. If not, I'll make it up in the next chapter!...Once I think of one. I need ideas people! Please help me!!

Review Please.

PS: The Sasuke and Author thing. None of its true. xD


	7. I Wanna Be Seme!

The Internet Was Made For Yaoi

By Shounen-Ai

Warning(s): This is **Sasu**Naru not **Naru**Sasu. Ipplied** Nasu**Sasu though.

Shounen-Ai's Note: Should I add 'Author Lady' in more often or not? That will be a poll question guys.

* * *

_OrangeRamenCup has logged on_

OrangeRamenCup: Owww....my butt hurts. **;_;**

_Sasuke has logged on_

Sasuke:.........How do you keep escaping?

OrangeRamenCup: Leave me alone you pervert. **T_T**

Sasuke: Still mad I see.

OrangeRamenCup: SHUT UP! I CAN'T EVEN WALK NOW! KAKASHI-SENSEI WON'T LET ME GO ON ANY MORE MISSIONS UNTIL I HEAL!

Sasuke: Hm. Don't worry. I'll take care of you.

OrangeRamenCup:...eh? Like a personal maid?

_Author has logged on_

Author: Yes Naruto-chan! Like a personal maid! With the maid outfit included.

Sasuke: What?!...And I thought you were emo now.

Author: I am.....BUT THIS IS A HYPER MOMENT!

Sasuke:......Bipolar idiot.

Author: Just for that! I'm taking us to a time were you act all uke-ish. **DX**

Sasuke: WHAT?!

OrangeRamenCup: YAY!

Author: Now lets go!

Reviwers has logged in

Reviewer: NO! NO NARUSASU!

Author:....but its so sexy....

Reviewers: ITS WEIRD!

Author.** ;_;** But..

Reviewers: HELL NO!

Author:.........FINE! JERKS! I'LL JUST GO STALK SHIKAMARU THEN!

_Author has logged out_

Reviewers:** ;)**

_Reviewers has logged out_

OrangeRamenCup: I wanna be seme!

Sasuke: No. Your uke.

OrangeRamenCup:...SCREW YOU! I WANNA BE SEME! WE'RE OVER AND NOW I GOT FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL LET ME BE SEME!!!

_OrangeRamenCup has logged out_

Sasuke: Hmph. Like you could dump me.

Sasuke has logged out.

--

Neji blushed as he stared at the boy in his arms, grinning happily.

"Thank you Neji! I'll be the best seme you ever had!"

"Uhh...right..."

--

Sasuke growled from his hiding spot as he stared at the new 'couple'. "This isn't NaruNeji!" He hissed as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a silver whistle. A devilish smirk appeared and with the puff of a large breath, he blew the whistle. Naruto blinked, looking around. "Eh? What was that noise?" Neji also looked around, slightly confused as well. "I don't know..." Sasuke looked behind him as the sound of footsteps racing in his direction entered the air. Soon, the girl who was loved by all stopped next to the Uchiha. "What's happening?! Why did you blow the 'Story Alert' whistle?!" Sasuke pointed behind him, signaling the author to check the situation. She did so and gasped. "NO! NARUTO!" She raced over to the couple and separated them.

"NO NARUNEJI!"

"BUT I WAS GONNA BE SEME!"

"NO! How about this. I make a NaruSasu one-shot."

"....Chapter-story..."

"No. I'm already working on one currently."

"At least over 4000 words long?"

"....eh..deal!"

"YES!" Naruto wooted, dancing in joy.

Neji sighed and headed back into his home. "This is getting weird." he muttered to himself. Sasuke's eye twitched as he stood next to the two. "What is this about two NaruSasu stories?" He resisted the urge to scream. He was a Uchiha and Uchihas' do not scream, nor throw tantrums. The author smirked. "Yes. Two. One for Naruto. One for my dedicated fans of NaruSasu. I bet you'll like it too."

"No."

"But it'll be goo-"

"No."

"Fine! Jerk! I'm off. I have to make sure Shikamaru didn't break the ropes this time." With that, she vanished.

"Crazy fan girl..."

"She rocks! I get to be seme!!"

"...............not in this story." And with that, Naruto was dragged in the direction of the Uchiha Compound.

"NO! I DON'T WANNA HAVE SEX! MY BUTT STILL HURTS!"

"It'll have to hurt worse than."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

* * *

**Naruto: Reviewers. If you love me, make me seme. Please? [puppy eyes]**

**Sasuke: Like they would. [Kisses Naruto's cheek]**

**Naruto: [Blushes] D-Don't touch me...MAKE ME SEME!!**

**Sasuke: Ignore him. **

Shounen-Ai's Note: Review please and sorry for the shortness. If I get to at least twenty reviews, I might even update sooner.** :]**


	8. Mine

The Internet Was Meant For Yaoi

By Shounen-Ai

**I've lost my funniness...**

**SAVE ME! I NEED A BETA TO HELP ME MAKE SURE THAT THE CHAPTERS I POST ARE FUNNY!**

* * *

_OrangeRamenCup has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup:..................

_RedSand has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup: GAARA!!

RedSand: Hello Naruto.

OrangeRamenCup: What'cha up too?

RedSand: Hm. Trying to find and destroy a certain human by the name of Sasuke.

OrangeRamenCup: Oh, sounds fun!

**_2:30 since last message_**

**_2:31 since last message_**

**_2:32 since last message_**

**_2:33 since last message_**

OrangeRamenCup: WAIT! WHAT!?

RedSand: You are as dense as I thought.

OrangeRamenCup: WHAT?!

_Sasuke has logged in_

OrangeRamenCup: RUN BASTARD! RUN!!

Sasuke:...and why should I run moron?

OrangeRamenCup: Because! Gaara! Sand! Blood! Pieces! Sasuke!!...GYAH!!!

RedSand: A translation. I am going to kill you Uchiha.

Sasuke: Is this about that fight this afternoon?

RedSand: Naruto is mine.

Sasuke: Tell that to the author.

RedSand: I can easily get her to agree.

Sasuke: Yeah. Sure. Naruto, come over. I have a new outfit for you.

OrangeRamenCup: EW! NO! YOU BASTARD!!!

_OrangeRamenCup has logged out_

Sasuke: I'll get him....

RedSand: Uchiha. Stay away from what is mine.

Sasuke: Naruto belongs to me. You can have Sakura though.

RedSand: No.

_PaleDestiny has logged in_

PaleDestiny: Naruto is mine.

Sasuke: You again Hyuuga? I told you before, he is mine.

RedSand: No, he shall be mine very soon.

Sasuke: Hmph. As if that would happen.

RedSand: Do not judge me Uchiha. I have my ways of changing ones mind.

Sasuke: As do I.

PaleDestiny: You two may chat away with empty threats. I shall be off looking for my blond.

RedSand: I will have him first.

_RedSand has logged out_

Sasuke: He better not touch him.

_Sasuke has logged out_

_PaleDestiny has logged out  
_

--

Gaara smirked down at the tied up blond. Naruto struggled against the restraints, but found it very difficult. "Come on Gaara! Untie me!!" He pleaded, looking to the boy for any signs of remorse, even pity! He received none, only a closer view of his face. "Uh..too close! Too close! Gyah!! Save me!! He's gonna rape meeee!" Naruto crawled backwards until he felt the cold wall press up against his back. Gaara only drew closer until he had the boy trapped between his hands. "Don't resist. You'll be much more pleasured than before." Gaara leaned in to kiss the lips that he had dreamed of each and every night.

But soon the door to the unknown place was broken open.

"Get away from what is mine."

"Hyuuga."

"What is with you people!?" Naruto cried out, not really caring how loud he was. He was a freaking guy! It shouldn't be Guy lusts after Guy! It should be Guy lusts after Girl! And he sure was NOT a girl! Gaara winced at the loud tone of his soon-to-be lover, but kept his glare in place. Neji walked gracefully into the room before stopping in front of Gaara. "Do not touch him. He's mine." Gaara smirked at the male's words. "That little fantasy of yours will be the death of you." Sand began to drip from the large jug attached to his back. Neji noticed, soon activating his byaugan. "A battle to the death. Who will survive?" he questioned, getting into position. Seconds later, a large battle had begun. Naruto ducked from kunai, sand, explosions, etc. "They are gonna kill me!" He squeaked, dodging another explosion.

"Naruto!" A whisper from the window got his attention. "Sasuke! Save me!" He squirmed over to the window, not having the ability to get onto his feet. Sasuke tapped the window gently as it soon fell to the ground with ease, releasing a loud crash. The two opponents were to engulfed in fighting to realize their prize was being taken away. "Sasuke hurry!" Naruto began to pounce a bit on his stomach, not really noticing the lust filled eyes of his teammate. "Of course.." he smirked wickedly, throwing the boy onto his shoulder as if he were a sack of potatoes, and soon rushed off in the direction of his home.

"Sasuke! My apartment is the other way!!"

"Hmph."

".....SASUKE! YOU PERVERT!! NOOO!! I DON'T WANNA DRESS UP!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!"

Naruto's cries were ignored.

---

Two Hours Later

---

"....Where did Naruto go?" Neji and Gaara questioned, finally realizing the disappearance of their soon-to-be uke.

---

Uchiha Estate

---

"I hate you bastard..."

"I love you too moron."

"I said I HATE you!!"

"And I said I loved you too."

Naruto pouted, turning away from the 'wolf'.

Sasuke smirked down at his dressed up fox.

"Another round?"

"No! I'm tired!!" Naruto whined, clinging to the pillow beneath his head.

"I'm still horny."

"I noticed! Its poking into my back!" Naruto glared back. "Your too close!"

"I'll be even closer if you let me fuck you."

"NO!!"

Sasuke pushed the boy onto his back.

"NO! SASUKE! GYAH! I'M TIRED YOU BASTARD!!" Naruto squirmed.

Sasuke simply ignored him.

As always.

* * *

Shounen-Ai's Note:....Its sad. I forgot I had made this story....

**Naruto:...Why do you keep letting him rape me?**

**Sasuke: Its not rape when your willing.**

**Naruto: I'M NOT WILLING!! I HATE YOU BASTARD!!!**

**Sasuke I love you too.**

**Naruto: UGH!!  
**


	9. Naruto Day?

The Internet Was Meant For Yaoi

By Shounen-Ai

I seriously lost my funniness....

* * *

"We interrupt this program with the following broadcast!" Naruto tilted his head in confusion at the sudden ad that blocked him from entering his usual chat room. Soon the words disappeared and were replaced by a picture of him. "Today. Hokage Tsunade-sama has officially proclaimed the day to be Naruto day. For this one day only, all are allowed to lust after this adorable Blondie." Naruto hopped from his seat, gaping in horror. "WHAT!? BAA-CHAN!!! YOUR CRAZY!!! WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?!" Soon Naruto remembered a certain prank he had pulled on her a few days ago.

"Oh right..."

"From now on, the day of March 6, the holiday: Naruto Day, is now activated. Thank you for your time." The ad vanished, soon logging him into a very crowded chat room.

Sasuke: Naruto. Come over this instant. I do not want anyone touching you besides me.

PaleDestiny: He is up for grabs today Uchiha. Stop being so stingy.

DoggyDog: Yo Naruto! Wanna come over and eat some ramen with me!?

LazyDay: Troublesome.

RedSand: Are you ready to die today as well Inuzuka?

YOUTHFUL-LEE: NARUTO-CHAN! PLEASE ALLOW ME TO TAKE YOU ON A DATE OF YOUTH AND ROMANCE!!

OhhPointy: No way! I want a date with Naru-chan!!

BlondeBabe: Oh wow. So many suitors for are little Naru-chan! I wanna be one! Naru-chan!! Please go on a date with me!

YuriYaoiFanboy: I should be allowed to have the first date since I am the oldest of all of you.

Naruto began to panic at the sudden uproar. He also could hear a chant of his name from the windows as well. "I don't wanna be rape! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" Naruto snapped the cords of the computer out the sockets, allowing the computer to automatically shut down. Soon he was racing around his room, collecting items and stuffing them into his favorite bag. "I'm sorry house. But I will die if I stay any longer." He bowed respectfully before poofing out the room just in time. The door busted opened and was soon filled with honry teens and adults.

Naruto soon appeared outside the Konoha gates and made a run for a random direction. "I'm free!!!" Tears of joy fell as he laughed happily to himself and thought of the many thing he'd do once he found a new home to settled in. 'I better make sure its a all girl village first!' He giggled just imagining himself pampared by beautiful females.

---

One Hour Later

---

Sasuke looked around the destroyed room for his lover. He was nowhere in site. The computer had been toppled over. The bed had been broken into pieces. He noticed well that Naruto's underwear drawer had been raved and so had some of his clothes. But what he noticed the most was that most of the precious things Naruto owned were missing. The frog wallet, the fox plushie, the cat sleeping cat, and his headband.

"He ran away." he muttered to himself as a dark aura covered his body.

---

Naruto stared in awe as the girls surround him.

"Awww! He's so adorable!!"

"Hi sweetie! Would you like to stay with me at my inn?"

"No way! I want him to stay with me!!"

"Please come to the hot springs with me!!"

"I want him to come with me as well!"

"Me too!"

The girls giggled, clinging to Naruto.

Naruto felt as if he had died and gone to heaven.

'I'm home!!'

* * *

Shounen-Ai's Note: Do not worry. Naruto will be back in the arms of the horny Konoha soon.

**Naruto: Noooo!! I like it here!!! [Cries] KONOHA IS CRAZY!!!**

**Sasuke:..............**

**Naruto:....what?**

**Sasuke:......[Sulking]**

**Imma put up a poll for some ideas for the next chapter. Please vote!**


End file.
